Emergency Medical Hotline

The Federal Guv’mint is planning a hotline to reduce waiting at emergency rooms, by having call-centre nurses advise whether the complaint needs to be seen by an ER doctor, or whether it can wait for a pharmacist, or the local doctor, etc.
It sounds like a good idea, but I don’t know that it will work too well, given other existing phone systems.

For example:

{frantic dialling}

{ring ring}

{ring ring}

{ring..}

Emergency Medical Hotline: To direct your call properly, you will be asked to describe your sysmptoms. You will then be assigned a place in the queue according to how horrific your injuries are. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Caller: Um, I was working on my decking and my missus she um, distracted me and, argh dammit it hurts, I cut my flamin’ hand off!

EMH: You said you’ve set your hand on fire. If this is right, say ‘Yes’ if it is not, say ‘No’.

Caller: NO!

EMH: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

C: I’ve cut my bloody hand off!

EMH: You said your hand is bleeding. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’.

C: FERFUCKSAKENO!

EMH: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you. Please try to speak in a natural tone. You said your hand is bleeding. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’.

C: NO!

EMH: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

C: I’ve…..cut…..my….han

EMH: I’m sorry, you took too long to state the nature of your medical emergency, please try again. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

C: I cut my hand off!

EMH: You said you’ve cut your hand off. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’

C: Yes!

EMH: Which hand?

C: Left!

EMH: You said left. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’

C: What? If left isn’t right? Of course it isn’t, it’s left you stupid machine!

EMH: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you. You said left. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’

C: Oh I see, right. Ye…

EMH: You said right. . If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’

C: What? No!

EMH: You said you’ve cut your hand off. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’

C: Yes!

EMH: Which hand?

C: Left!

EMH: You said left. If this is right, say ‘Yes’, if it is not, say ‘No’

C: Yes!

EMH: Thank you. Your symptoms are now being compared to other users of the Emergency Medical Hotline. Your illness is important to us. Please hold.

{Greensleeves plays}

EMH: Thank you. Your call has been placed in a queue and will be answered by the next available nurse. Please hold.

{Greensleeves plays}

EMH: Thank you. Your call has been placed in a queue and will be answered by the next available nurse. Please hold.

{Greensleeves plays}

Nurse: Thanks for holding, my name’s Chantelle, how can I diagnose you today?

C: ….

N: Hello? Hello?

{click}

WoW

So I bought the $2 demo. I installed it, and updated it.
And updated it.
And updated it.
I noticed while signing up and entering my credit card details that won’t be billed until I forget to tell it not to, that the trial is 10 days, according to the signup website. The package says 14 days. Then I figured it out. The time taken to install, update, register, signin, create a character, then wait for a server, is 4 days. You get to play for 10 days.

So far I’ve killed 5 wolves, and declined 3 duels. It also freaks me out when characters come sprinting up to you, stand staring at you intently, then say “Hi”, stand for a few more seconds then bolt off. Odd.

Software Sucks

While trying to install JRE, I get the following error:
Error applying transforms. Verify that the specified transform paths are valid.

The Java website lists this in its error DB.

Thanks, Sun!

Lawyers

Got this via Fark. It’s interesting on a few levels.